Salvage
by Garowyn
Summary: Train Heartnet saw himself in Tim Vertical. Based on volume seven of the manga.


**Author's Notes: I do not own Black Cat; it's all written for fun and no profit whatsoever. I'm following the manga, _not_ the anime (and so far, I've read volumes 1-8). I'm working to get the hang of Train's character, so I hope I haven't done too badly here.**

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If he could salvage his childhood and innocence, he would do so in an instant. If he could return to the past and rescue his parents somehow, he would do so in a heartbeat. While Saya Minatsuki's death weighed heavily on his already burdened shoulders, the moment when he lost everything bore a hole in his soul.

However, the years slipped by. Train found it easier not to dwell on that part, the time when he met Zagine, because spending time moping over an unchangeable situation was a waste of time. The present was what he focused on, living life free as a stray cat, yet every so often, his mind wandered back to that irrepressible memory he despised.

And when he learned of Tim Vertical's plight, the memory resurfaced, pounding at his heart like powerful waves, inflicting greater pain than being crushed by "the boy who fell from the sky."

When Train heard Tim's sob story and desire to reap revenge upon the murderer, Train knew at once that this boy was almost a mirror image of himself. And because Tim was like him, Train knew that a lesson learned about revenge being the wrong answer would not be firmly planted in Tim's head with mere words alone.

Even if Train couldn't fully believe it himself.

He knew he'd be lying if he said he didn't harbor ill will towards Creed and the need to avenge Saya's death. Train recalled every aching moment he'd spent in mourning, still brooding over the loss even now, though he concealed it carefully. No need to bother others with his grief.

But he saw Tim try his hardest not to cry, to appear a man before strangers. Train could see and sense it all. The pain of losing a loved one working to bring justice to the people came through with every teardrop. The hasty decision in wanting to learn how to handle a weapon wrapped tight inside one fist. That desperate _need_ to deliver an eye for an eye – Train understood it all, and utilized it to his purpose of becoming the teacher. If he could just prevent Tim from heading down the same path, from dirtying his hands with blood and regret...

But would Tim come through in the end? They were similar yet still different. Train would find out.

Time passed. The deed was done, Tim being the eyewitness to the cop's "death," and Train waited, acting cool and composed, like it was an everyday job to carry out a killing — and hadn't it been? — and waited for Tim's reaction. The boy sprang away from him, sobs and true feelings thrown out into the wind. Relief coursed through Train in that moment when Tim's maturity shone through, sharing his guilt, and Train knew Tim had learned a hard lesson. Train laughed.

Death had not occurred, and Tim walked away with the vow of following in his father's footsteps, resolving to bring the unjust to justice, and Train had smiled inwardly, pretending to be asleep when he heard Tim's final words until another day's reunion. But that wasn't the only reason for his smile.

Train's load felt lighter; he had managed to partly salvage another's life from becoming like his own, and that itself was enough to make his heart feel less burdened, the hole in his soul narrowing.

Train knew that Tim learned not to go around seeking revenge, for in the end, it would bring nothing but more grief, more pain, and zero satisfaction – like Tim had said himself. But Train wondered if he would emerge from darkness just the same.

Zagine, the killer of Train's parents was dead, so no chance for revenge there, hatred still festering deep inside for Zagine. But Creed, the murderer of Saya, was still alive, and would most likely not cease his hunt for Train.

Train wondered and pondered over the many questions: would he destroy Creed? Would Saya _really_ want that? Had he jumped from being a slave to Chronos to being a slave to revulsion and remorse, riding under the flag of stray cat freedom? Would he _ever_ be satisfied with his life? _Why couldn't his past leave him alone? _Train wouldn't feel free—_couldn't_ be free unless these questions were laid to rest.


End file.
